How many times have you heard a friend say, "Damn, I had the hottest sex last night!" Quite a few I'd imagine, that is ... if you have the sorts of friends that I do - sluts! Seriously though, have you wondered about the difference between just good sex and "girl-you-only-wish-you-had-it-so-good" sex? In a word ... technique.

Everyone talks "about" sex - We want to see it, we want to get it, and of course we want to enjoy it. Few ever seem to deal with the "how" of sex. This gay sex guide should help you improve and enhance your sex life, everyone who has commented about it have always said how it has helped them. Even those who thought they knew a lot about what to do in bed. The sections we have are as follows.-

Those not happily floating in the gutter yet, may want read the "play with toys" section first.

So what makes me such an "expert"?

Modesty went out the window the day I realised that around 1,000 people each day read this very page. Well that, and the fact that I now, on a regular basis, get e-mail messages from heterosexual women, thanking me for my Blow job tips. Who knew?

Setting my ego aside for a moment, when I have sex with another guy, I try to satisfy and anticipate his needs, wants & desires, by sensing his feedback. In doing this, I've learned a few things along the way.

 

HOW TO: Kiss
Kiss, is just a kiss
Right? Wrong!

 

A kiss sets the mood for your entire sexual experience with your partner. If he's a bad kisser, you might as well put your clothes back on, go home, and jerk off.

The key to good kissing is to actively use your lips. I've kissed guys that didn't use their lips at all. They would just tense up their lips and leave them like that. It felt like I was trying to kiss a statue.

Relax or at least, make a mental effort to relax, your lips. Allow them to be soft and pliable. As you start to kiss, try gently brushing your partner's cheek with them, or run them along his neck just barely making contact with his skin.

Don't be afraid to use your breath. Nothing gets me hotter than feeling someone's warm breath on my neck, or someone gently (and I mean gently) blowing in my ear. It always sends goose bumps down my neck, back, and arms.

This type of gentle foreplay with your partner is extremely sensual, and builds up sexual tension. It can also serve to establish nonverbal communication between the two of you. His reactions to this sort of foreplay will give your first indications of his overall sexual responsiveness.

As you get into it, you'll probably start using your tongue. Run or flick your tongue across his lips, moistening them slightly without actually kissing him. When you do finally kiss, make sure to lick your own lips from time to time to ensure their softness. It's not very pleasant to kiss someone whose lips have the texture of sandpaper.

When you use your tongue on his neck, gently run it around his earlobe and ear. If you feel like it, suck on his earlobe - but not his ear. You may want to cover his entire ear with your mouth and gently exhale. Try not to inhale while doing this, and don't exhale too quickly because the rushing air will make him feel like he's in a wind tunnel.

When starting to "French" kiss, open your mouth just slightly. I can't tell you how many times I went to French someone and he opened his mouth widely sticking his tongue all the way out. I felt like I was Frenching a horse. You're trying to kiss here ... not eat a Big Mac!

Let your partner accept the tip of your tongue into his mouth, and vice versa. As you get more intense try sucking lightly on your partner's tongue - be careful not to suck too hard, making him feel like you're trying to rip his tongue from his mouth.

Try gently nibbling or sucking on your partner's lips. Feel their texture, softness, and even their taste with your tongue. Though it's generally subtle and easily unnoticed, the lips of different men do actually have their own unique flavour. Be a creative kisser. 

Always be aware of your teeth. It's not really pleasant to be French kissing someone and feeling his teeth scrape the area around your mouth. Though teeth can effectively be used for fun. A light bite or nibble on your partner's chin can be a display of passionate sexual aggression :-)

When kissing someone - kiss him the same way you enjoy being kissed. Think back and remember a guy you really enjoyed kissing. How did he kiss you? What was so different about the way he kissed you? Try imitating those methods with your future partners.

I've found that most guys kiss with their eyes closed. Ignore the impulse to close your eyes when kissing and try opening them occasionally. It adds a new perspective to the experience.

When kissing other parts of your partner's body see if you can find his sensitive areas without asking him where they are. Explore his body with your lips, and pay attention to his feedback. Does he tense up? Does he hold you tighter? Does his breathing change? Is he smiling, etc.?

Some commonly sensitive areas are - love handles, the insides of thighs, the belly button, nipples, armpits, the small of the back, backs of knees, and so on. The "hot spots" vary greatly from one guy to another, as do degrees of sensitivity. Again, closely read his feedback, or he may end up being bored when you're earnestly doing your best to stimulate him.

Once again don't be afraid to use your imagination - be creative, be playful, have fun with it. If you make an effort to be in-tune with your partner, chances are he'll return the favour and both of you will have a better time.

If you're a guy that says, "kissing is not my thing", then you've just wasted about 5 to 10 minutes of your time reading this.

 

HOW TO: Massage
Massage is the best ice-breaker!

 

It's true! How many times have you found yourself in a situation with a guy that you really wanted but you weren't sure what your first move should be, or even if you should make a first move.

Try offering him a back rub or a massage, or imply that you would like to get one from him. A massage can be non sexual just by itself, and it lets him, or you decide if you want to take things further. I know it's cheesy, but it works.

If it's someone you don't know very well, sometimes you don't even need to ask him. If you think that he's going to be receptive to it, then find an opportune moment where you can get behind him and put your hands on his neck and shoulders. Most people can't resist a back or neck rub.

This doesn't always work though since there are some guys only allow a CMT (certified massage therapist), or their chiropractor to work on their back, and they will tell you that they don't want a massage. If that kind of a prissy attitude doesn't turn you off you may want to ask him if he's willing to give you a back rub even if he won't accept one.

If your guy, however, is receptive to the idea then I have one key tip to offer you.

When giving a massage, use the pads of your fingers, not the tips.

When you use the tips of your fingers, it often feels like someone is clawing into your back, and it can hurt quite a bit, especially the muscles are really tense.

When you use the pads of your fingers, it feels much more soothing and relaxing. But hey, if your guy is into that kind of pain, then dig in :-) Most of the guys I've been with tend to prefer the soothing kind of massage, and shy away from the painful variety.

When massaging a guy's neck or back try running your fingers through his hair, up the back of his scalp, along the sides of his head, to his temples, all the while gently rubbing in a circular motion. This kind of "scalp massage" is a pretty unique experience for a lot of people, and I can tell you it feels wonderful.

If your partner is still fully clothed after you've worked on his neck and shoulders for awhile, and you want things to go a little further, try pulling his shirt out of his pants, or if it's already out slide your hands under his shirt.

It's a lot easier to give a guy a rub down without clothes in the way. If you have lotion in the house, ask if he'd like you to use it on him. Once he agrees he has to take his shirt off.

When your guy is laid out on his stomach and you're massaging his back, in particular the muscles along his spine, turn one of your hands sideways, and cup it, so that the bottom of your palm is resting on one side of his spine, and the pads of your fingers on the other. Then place your other hand on top and apply steady even pressure as you massage the muscles along his spine using a circular motion. Not only is this very soothing, but massaging this often overlooked part of the body can also release a tremendous amount of tension from your partner. Remember they're called "back rubs", if shoulders were the only part of the body to get tense they'd be called "shoulder rubs".

Try working your way down to the small of his back. If he hasn't got a hard-on yet, then as your hands get closer to his butt, he's likely to pop one.

If you have enough stamina and you're up for it, try rubbing down his legs. These can be a little tricky, as no two guys have the same  build legs. Some men have really slender legs and there may not be too much to grab onto during a massage.

If you are rubbing down his legs, work your way up from his feet, along his calves, to the insides of his thighs. Try to get as close to his crotch as possible without touching it. This is a wonderful way to tease him, and crank up the sexual tension. If you have an affectation for butts, then rubbing, kneading, and squeezing his should be right up your (and his) alley.

Massages aren't only about squeezing and rubbing. Light touch can be extremely exciting and thrilling, unless he's severely ticklish. Then it can actually pass for mild torture, physical and psychological, and that's usually very fun, well - for at least one person involved.

Very lightly running your fingers along his back, his love handles, the insides of his thighs, under his arms and down his sides, is usually sure to make him breathe a little quicker, fall into a sensual bliss, or at least make him break out in goose bumps.

If that's not enough - a light kiss or lick, followed by touch here and there, alternately blowing warm then cold air on various parts of his body (especially nipples, and neck) should turn up the heat a notch or two.

As always don't be afraid to explore his body, it's another good way to judge the responsiveness of your partner.

A good sensual massage can be the prelude to a wonderful session of passionate sex.

 

HOW TO: Rim

 

If you don't enjoy or aren't even curious about rimming - licking a guy's ass - then this page is not for you.

I personally get off more on rimming a cute butt, than getting rimmed.It's common sense, to make sure that your partner is clean "down there" before you dig in :-)

Position is the key to doing an effective job here. Just as the 69 position is popular with a lot of people for blow jobs - the 69 position is the best, and my favourite, for rimming.

I find it very erotic to have my partner straddle my face with his ass with his body facing my legs. This allows me the most access to his butt. A little like this.

When in this position a lot of guys are tempted to lean forward and try to rim you or suck your cock at the same time. When your partner does this to you his butt rotates up and you have to strain your neck and tongue trying to reach it. To avoid this tell him to sit up, but also he should support some of his weight, otherwise you might have too much of a good thing in your face and you may find it difficult to breathe.

If you want him to suck your cock while rimming him, then use your legs to lift your hips upward. This should bring your crotch close enough to his mouth for him to suck on you.

If your partner insists on rimming you at the same time, and your back is pretty flexible, ask him to use his hands to grab your legs by the backs of your knees, and lift your ass in the air and closer to his mouth. He should be able to rim you without leaning over too much.

Another good position for rimming your partner is for him to be on all fours, or even better, flat on his stomach with his legs spread widely apart. Then you can really go to town on him :)

When it comes to rimming it helps to have a lot of dexterity with your tongue. The deeper your push your tongue the better it feels. The slicker you make your partner's ass the easier it is for you. Use your hands to spread his butt cheeks apart. An interesting experience for your partner may be to get "hummed".

"Humming" is pushing your face into his ass, with your tongue probing his hole, and then moaning/humming out loud. A lot of guys probably haven't experienced this kind of "vibration". Try it sometime.

When rimming a guy, playfully lick, gently bite his ass cheeks. Squeeze them with your hands, feel their texture.

Don't overlook the "miracle inch". This is the area between the base of his balls and his ass hole. For a lot of guys this is a super hypersensitive area. Try giving it a good tongue bath.

Fingers can be a mixed proposition. If you are going to finger your partner's ass while rimming him, make sure that both - your finger and his ass hole. - are slick with saliva, otherwise he may resist.

The skin on your fingers is usually a lot rougher than you think. So having a finger up there might not always feel good.

If you're rimming a guy who is a complete top - it may be a big turn off for him to have a finger, or anything, up his ass. Though if your partner is versatile or a bottom, he may enjoy a finger or two, or five *grin*. You'll have to ask him to find out. Also fingernails may cause "snags" so be careful.

Rimming is one of those acts, that's become a main stream fetish. If your partner has never been rimmed before - encourage him to give it a go and see how he feels. Chances are he'll love it. However don't necessarily expect him to return the favour.

 

HOW TO: Give A Blowjob
Oral talents are the most important!

 

Sucking is also the area where most guys (or girls) seem to be lacking skills. Giving a blow job has NOTHING to do with blowing. Rather the exact opposite. You should suck on it, and suck on it hard. Just as you would suck a lollipop, straw in a soda, or a cigarette for those who smoke.

Many boys that are just starting out - seem to be under the impression that all you have to do is just go up and down on it with your mouth. WRONG! There is a lot more to it!

The goal of a good blow job is to find the most sensitive areas on your partner's cock and then to stimulate them with your mouth, tongue, and lips as much as you can.

Forming a tight seal around your partner's cock is the key. There is one problem that's the most common in bad blow jobs. TEETH! Having a guy's teeth scrape on your cock as they're sucking you, is not only unpleasant, but it also hurts. The best way to get around this is to open your mouth wider, or even better yet, is to slightly curl your lips over your teeth.

Be careful, however, if you curl your lips over your teeth too far and you have really rough stubble from not shaving, then you still might cause your partner quite a bit of pain. The trick is to avoid rubbing, or scraping your partner's cock with anything that might be unpleasant.

Commonly the most sensitive areas on a guy's cock are the rim of the cock head, the tip, the top side of the cock head, and at times the bottom side of the shaft.

A good way to stimulate the rim of the cock head is to form a tight ring around the cock with your lips, and to repeatedly let the rim of the cock head force it's way through that ring as you suck him. Another way is to repeatedly swirl your tongue around the rim.

This method is also good for stimulating the tip of the cock head You can tease him with your tongue by flicking it across the tip as you suck him, you can even tease the slit at the top of his cock. Some guys, however, tend to be TOO sensitive there, so it may not be too pleasurable for them to have their slit played with. As always look for your partner's feedback.

To stimulate the top side of the cock head during a blow job, swirl your tongue around it on each top stroke. Try occasionally turning your head clockwise and counterclockwise as you bob up and down while sucking him.

To stimulate the bottom side of the shaft, extend your tongue inside your mouth as much as you can without breaking the tight seal, and then firmly press your tongue against the shaft as you bob up and down sucking him.

Positions are also a key to giving a good blow job Naturally you want to get as much of his cock as you can inside your mouth.

If your partner's cock curves upward towards his stomach, you may get a better response from him if you turn your body in such a way so that the curve of his cock matches the curve of your throat. Sort of like one half of a 69 position, where it seems like his cock could just slip down your throat with out a problem.

If your partner's cock curves downward towards his feet, then being between his legs, on your stomach, or on your knees will work really well for him. It will also make it easier and more enjoyable for you.

Another decision you want to make is, whether your partner should be standing, sitting, or laying down on his back. Different guys have different responses, and sometimes different degrees of erection depending on which position they're in.

Another good position is for you to be on the bed flat on your back with your head tilted back. He should be standing above you by the edge of the bed sliding his cock in and out of your mouth.

You should also use your hands during a blow job Some guys have problems staying really erect during a blow job It helps in this case to grip his cock firmly with one hand, make a ring around it with your index finger and thumb and place your hand at the base of his cock squeezing the base of the shaft, this usually makes his cock a little harder. Some guys get harder if you use a couple of fingers to press against the hard area just below his balls.

Another way to stimulate the rim of the cock head is to make a tight ring with your index finger and thumb around his cock just in front of your mouth, and as you go up on each stroke, let the rim of the cock head pass through it. Be sure your fingers are slippery though, for easier friction.

You can stimulate the whole shaft by stroking it with your hand in rhythm with your sucking. A fun part of a blow job can be having your balls played with. Be gentle though. Some guys love to have their balls played with, licked and sucked during a blow job Be careful when sucking on your partner's balls. To some it's a very sensitive area, and it can hurt quite a bit even with minor stimulation.

When in doubt stick to licking, and gently nibbling on the ball sack. If he has balls of steel and can take anything, then by all means go to town on him.

The 69 position can be fun, cause you're both getting pleasure at the same time. The traditional position, with one guy on his back and the other on top of him, almost never works. The guy on top can suck without a problem, but it's difficult for the guy on the bottom to give an effective blow job

The best position for 69ing is on your side. You line your self up so that each of you is at the crotch level of the other, then slide your arm under his bottom leg, and vice versa. This lets you get your arm in a more comfortable position. It usually helps to lift your top leg and bend it at the knee, allowing your partner more access to your crotch. If your partner in a 69 position is pretty experienced - look for what he's doing and imitate him.

When on the receiving end of a blow job, you may be tempted to start thrusting your hips and fucking his face with your cock. That's all fine and well, however, it often prevents your partner from doing what he does so well. Grabbing the back of his head and pushing your cock inside his mouth can be a fun power trip from a visual standpoint, but it rarely makes it fun for your partner. Hence the T-shirt slogan:

"Let go of my ears, I know what I'm doing."

A really nice touch can be stroking your partner's hair, neck and face while he's sucking you, this lets him know that you're enjoying this and appreciate him.

Deep throating is something that feels really good for your partner, but can be quite a chore for you. I myself, have not yet perfected my skills in this area, but I can on occasion deep throat someone. The trick to getting that cock down your throat (down your oesophagus, not down your trachea) is to keep pushing your head forward, and opening your mouth and sliding your tongue out as much as you can. Do not try to suck him while deep throating, it's impossible. Another very helpful tip is - if you're going to do this, be sure you do it on an EMPTY stomach. It has happened that deep throating triggers the gag reflex, and suddenly you may find yourself with a portion of your lunch or dinner in your mouth as you're giving someone a blow job This is not a very pleasant experience.

Also, don't always expect your partner to cum from receiving a blow job Sometimes this rarely happens. Blow jobs. feel really good, but getting off on them can sometimes be rare.

There are several psychological factors that may come into play here: degree of arousal, environment, performance anxiety, nervousness, circumstance and so on.

Sometimes it can simply be a matter of physiology - meaning that some guys' cocks just aren't as sensitive as others and require great amounts of stimulation to cum. A guy's inability to orgasm from your blow-job is not necessarily a direct reflection of your cock sucking abilities.

If your situation allows it, and you think your ego can handle it, try asking your partner for completely honest feedback on this one.

If you're determined to get him off, but it just doesn't seem to be happening, and your jaw feels like it's going to fall off - THEN TAKE A BREAK! If you keep going despite your fatigue, you can be pretty sure that your partner is going to pick up on your growing sense of personal frustration, and it will be that much more difficult for him to get off.

In my case if someone can get me off just by sucking me, then I consider him to be exceptional at giving head. Usually it's been a combination of a guy using his mouth and his hands to do the trick.

If your partner is going to cum during a blow job, it's up to you to decide whether to swallow his load or not. Since this is not a site about safe/safer sex I won't launch into any exhaustive lectures about risky behaviour, risk factors, etc. Suffice it to say that it's up to you to assess the risk of any given situation.

Personally, I find it erotic when someone swallows my load, and most guys also get a rush from experiencing this. Though, personally I usually don't like the taste of cum, if I'm really into the person I'm with, I love to swallow. Like I said, you need to make this call. One thing should be noted, the taste of your partner's cum will vary, depending on what he's had to eat, and drink earlier.

Being uncut, I thought I would offer a few more tips for dealing with uncut cocks. Some guys who are cut, are apprehensive about uncut cocks. Don't be! Look at it as an added bonus, and an added chance to make your partner squirm with pleasure.

Quite a few cut guys loudly proclaim that they find uncut cocks so much fun to play with! These days the number of circumcised men who have a fetish for uncut men/cocks is startlingly large and growing.

Guys who are uncut are generally MUCH MUCH more sensitive than cut guys. You can't always give uncut guys the same rough treatment that you've been giving your other partners. The most common problem I encounter, is my partner pulling the skin of the cock too far down to the point that it is painful. The foreskin is attached to the cock head, so be careful. Teeth can also be a big problem for me. It can be rather awkward when you're in a situation and your partner is trying to give you pleasure, but he is instead hurting you.

With uncut guys, the cock head, and its rim are generally the most sensitive areas. Sliding your tongue between the foreskin and cock head can give him waves of pleasure. Swirling the tip of your tongue between the retracted foreskin and the rim of his cock head can feel wonderful!

Some guys have really sensitive foreskins, so an added bonus for them would be to have it played with, either with your tongue, or nibbled on gently. If your partner has a foreskin that's not too tight, you can take a moist finger place it on the cock head and roll the foreskin over it so it covers your finger. You can then gently move your finger around in the a circular motion. This feels really good. If you're not sure how to do this, ask you partner if he's ever done this, and ask him to show you.

Some uncut guys have really tight foreskins that do not completely retract over the cock head Do not try to force it, because they will yelp in pain.

Like with any sexual experience, when giving head, look for your partner's reaction, if he's responding in a good way, then keep doing what you're doing. If he looks like he's ready to watch some TV, then obviously what you're doing to him doesn't feel that good. If you get the opportunity, talk to him and ask him which areas of his cock are really sensitive, and what feels good to him.

 

There's more to fucking
than just "in and out".

 

It's my opinion that in order to make a good top, you need to be on the bottom first.

Fucking a guy should be as much about giving him pleasure, as getting it for yourself.

One thing that you can do to enhance your partner's pleasure is to use longer strokes. A lot of guys tend to slip their cock inside their partner, and just use quick short strokes. Speaking from personal experience - I really enjoy feeling a guy's shaft sliding in and out of me.

If you're a guy with a sizable endowment (congratulations), or a guy with a partner that doesn't get fucked too often and is really tight, there are a couple of things you can do to make things easier for him.

One is to first loosen him up. You can rim him or you can finger him. Select a lube that you prefer if you're going to finger him. Work a single finger up his ass and see how he reacts, then try two, if you're feeling adventurous and so is he, try three. Don't move the fingers in and out too much, let your partner get used to idea of having something inside of him.

Once he feels comfortable, try slipping just your cock head inside of him. As you feel it slip in then stop and hold it there for a while. As your partner adjusts push in a little more. If you see your partner wince then stop and hold it there, pull out just a little if he needs you to.

This way you should eventually be able to get most if not all of your cock inside of him. Once you do, use long strokes for the maximum amount of pleasure. Try not to pull completely out of him while fucking. That can cause air to get packed inside your partner's ass, and can lead to some rather embarrassing results. Though slipping the cock head in and out of your partner's ass can be a wonderful way to tease him.

Don't forget about your partner's cock while fucking him. If his cock is accessible play with it - unless he's like me, and a couple of quick strokes while getting fucked will finish him off. It can be fun to slap his ass playfully while fucking him.

Fucking can get pretty routine. If you're used to one or two positions then I urge you to try new ones. I won't suggest any here, because there are just so many that you can get into. I will say, though, that I love nothing more than throwing my partner from position to position while fucking him, or getting fucked. Encourage your partner to try new ways. Also try different locations, other than your bedroom or bed. Have you ever been on a secluded country road and bent your partner over the hood of a car while fucking him? On the balcony of your house/apartment? In a sex club or in a hot tub? Have you ever done it on a hillside while overlooking a beautiful view, or on a beach on a starry night? You can try different places around your house too. As popular a stereotype as it may be - I don't recommend airplane lavatories, they are usually way too cramped, and if you think the flight attendants won't notice - well don't be surprised if they offer you a cigarette after you come out.

When it comes to lubes there is a wide variety of choices that are available to you. Everything from spit to tons of commercial brands. Personally I'm not too fond of commercial sex lubricants. They tend to get too sticky, or they dry up, or they can be way too slick, or they are a big pain to clean up. One lube that gets overlooked quite often is lotion - Keri Silky Smooth Formula is the best I've ever tried. There are a lot of water based hand and body lotions out there.

Personally I prefer lotion because there is a lot less stuff to clean up, they tend to absorb somewhat (where sex lubes do not), and they provide just enough lubrication to make things comfortable, and not so much that you feel like you're fucking a moist rag.

There isn't much more I can say on this subject, except that creativity is the most important thing here.

 

HOW TO: Be A Bottom
Don't just lay there
and take it!

 

If it hasn't become apparent yet from reading the previous pages - I love to get fucked!!!

I feel that even though the top does all the bumping and the grinding, it's the bottom that has all the work.

I guess to start off with, you need to decide if it's a good day/night/time to get fucked. I hate messes, because they can be unpleasant and embarrassing. If you know that there's a possibility that you're going to get fucked that evening. It's a good idea to use the appropriate facilities and 'purge' yourself before starting that evening's adventures. I'm not talking about douches or enemas or anything like that (though if that's your cup of tea, by all means go ahead - quite a few guys do). I'm talking about taking a good long hard crap, and then showering and making sure you are thoroughly clean "down there".

You can also use a handheld showerhead to "flush-out" your lower colon. Unscrew the hose from the showerhead and turn on the water (not full power) and run the water until it is lukewarm or comfortable to the skin. Place the hose near your ass hole and press it forward until you feel the stream of water penetrate you. Let it fill you up for 2 to 3 seconds. Step out from the shower so you can sit on the toilet and release. Repeat this a couple of times if necessary.

Another piece of prep work you can do, is to properly moisturize down there using a water based hand/body lotion.

I want to make one thing clear. I'm not a size queen - I'm somewhat of a size queen. I think size does make a difference, and especially thickness - though often length makes up for girth.

If you find yourself fortunate enough to be with a "date" that's rather sizably endowed, look at it as a challenge. I recommend starting with a position where he is on his back and you sit down on top of his cock. This is usually the easiest way for you to get used to a cock inside of you, and especially one that is larger than what you're normally used to. It also allows you to have complete control over how much goes inside you. Once you're used to him, you can try all the different positions under the sun.

This position also works for those who are inexperienced, and have never been fucked, or haven't been fucked too often. If it truly is your first time "getting it" then I have a tip to offer you - as his cock is working its way inside of you, push against it with your ass like your taking a dump. Fight the urge to clamp your ass shut, because then it will start to hurt.

If you are quick to shoot while getting fucked (like me) and it often cuts the whole experience short, then I have a position I like a whole lot. It's getting fucked on your stomach with your legs closed.

This accomplishes two things - it keeps your hand and his hand away from your cock so that you can "enjoy the ride" and it allows you to squeeze the cheeks of your butt together making your ass a lot tighter for your partner. I have yet to run across a top that likes to fuck a loose ass. It's also a good position if you're with a guy that just doesn't seem to be able to cum and you're ready to end the party in a hurry. Most of my partners have yet to last more than 5 minutes with me in that position.

On the subject of keeping your ass tight. If you've been fucked before you're familiar with that 'loose' feeling you get afterwards. A helpful tip is to 'exercise' your ass - squeeze the cheeks of your ass together a couple of times when you're sitting down, or standing. Also try to learn how to get more control over the muscles in your butt, so that you can relax your hole when you need to, and tighten it up when you want to.

Be an aggressive bottom - don't just lay there - if your partner doesn't seem to take the initiative - then take it yourself. Make him use different positions. Tell him how you want him to fuck you, fast or slow. Tell him you want him to stroke your cock etc. etc. After all, you are the one that's really in control here - you decide when the fun starts and when it ends. Most guys that have fucked me really like to get that kind of feedback.

Use your imagination, and have him fuck you the way you want to be fucked.

 

HOW TO: Play With Toys
Toys can spice up your sex life!

 

If you're looking for something to give your sex life that extra kick - then toys are the things that can do it.

I always thought about playing with toys, but never went out and got any - until a friend of mine on the east coast helped out and I now have a couple in my possession.

One of the most common toys is the dildo. These are fun to use. They usually come in a larger than life size, and can present a fun challenge to a bottom. They can also be used as a substitute, when a man isn't available. Someone once said to me, "I would never stick anything artificial up my ass for the sake of pleasure." I pity him - when I got "test drive" my dildo I was in 7th heaven.

Dildos are often seen as "man substitutes". This isn't really accurate because the difference in sensation between having a dildo or a cock up your ass, is like the difference between night and day. There is a level of intensity you can achieve by being screwed with a dildo that is near impossible to have with a man. This is one of the reasons why it's a great deal of fun to have your partner fuck you not only with his cock, but also with a dildo. Mind you I'm not saying that one experience is better than the other. What I am saying is that they are very different and they complement one another.

When buying a dildo, I wouldn't waste money buying vibrators, they break down, are a pain to use, and frankly don't do that much for a man. If you are going to pick one up, I recommend getting one that's nicely textured (lots of veins) and is of a good size that you can handle.

I had the occasion to use a double headed dildo with someone in the past and that was a lot of fun!

For those of you not familiar with them - what you see wrapped around the dildo is a cock ring. The way a cock ring works is that it constricts blood flow out of a penis, but not into it. So more blood is flowing into your cock and less out. I should note that you put it on around your shaft and your balls, not just the shaft. This has the effect of making your cock even harder than normal. A lot of men who have problems maintaining a hard-on for extended periods of time, are rather fond of them. A cock ring works for almost anyone, and is certainly a lot of fun for your partner because your cock gets a lot more texture to it.

Unless you know exactly the size that you need for your cock, I would recommend staying away from the metal ones. They can be very difficult to put on, and even more difficult to take off if you start feeling discomfort. The rubber ring cock rings are pretty much a waste of money. They tend to be a pain because they often pull on the hairs on your crotch. So for those starting out, I would recommend one that is made out of leather and has metal snaps on it so that you can adjust it to for different sizes and levels of tightness.

Now a lot of things can be a toy. There a lot of things I've fantasized about that I look forward to trying one of these days. Some of the things that were suggested to me - whipped cream placed on strategic parts of the body. For added taste you could add strawberries.

Try putting an ice cube in your mouth while like licking various parts of your partner's body, or even while giving him a Blow job For those of you that are beer drinkers (I have done this one) - try taking a mouthful of beer and sucking your partner's cock with the beer in your mouth. He's bound to give you a reaction of one sort or another.

When flight attendants work on a flight, we sometimes rinsed our hands with champagne, and it felt wonderful! Have you thought of trying to pour champagne over parts of your partner's body?

Various articles of clothing can also constitute toys. Jockstraps for example - ever try fucking some one with a jockstrap on? Snapping the straps of his jock against his ass while you fuck him. It would certainly be an interesting visual. Speedos, lycra, spandex, silk, and other such things have always turned me on tremendously. I love a guy in a speedo, or silk briefs. It's fun to tease him by fondling his cock, licking it, even trying to suck him through that soft smooth material.

I look forward to trying more and more toys in the future, and I hope you do as well after reading this.

Patrick Drahos